German Social Life

…and Bamberg

The Germans are an austere people who typically refrain from drinking alcohol until at least 4 o’clock in the afternoon. On weekdays. That is, unless that have started off their day with a Bavarian Breakfast: two white sausages with sweet mustard, white pretzle bread, and white beer. Apparently it doesn’t count as a Bavarian Breakfast if you have already heard the noon bells (that is right, time is determined by the ringing of churchbells here).

During my second week here, at 4pm I was summoned to the department kitchen, where the secretary served champagne in honour of her birthday… “served” as in “refilled everyone’s glass as soon as it was empty.” She is the “real boss” of the department, so her birthday deserves recognition. So there I was, in the middle of the workday, drinking glasses of champagne with the professor and other students in the department. No wonder they have a full set of wine glasses in their kitchen that they can wash in their department dishwasher! I was relating our kitchen facilities in Canada, where not only do we have a machine where you can pay for instant coffee, we also have a microwave! And sometimes plastic cutlery!

Recently the people here employed the full use of all their extensive kitchen equipment for an event called “spargle.” You have heard of the white German asparagus, eh? Turns out it has to be peeled before you can eat it, which is no easy task… it took me 20 minutes to peel four, only two of which didn’t break, and only one of which looked normally shaped after I applied the knife with excessive vigour. In the meantime, expert peelers had shucked 30 or more! Spargle is worth all the fuss, however: drizzeled with real melted cheeses, accompanied by roast potatoes and fine cuts of meat, garnished with fresh parsley and green onion… it is something! And I believe there was more than a bottle of wine provided per person… suffice to say it was an excellent event.

I also attended a house party hosted by one of the students in my class, Judith. There I learnt that Germans LOVE to tell Canadian jokes! I have been assured that the Canadian Government does not exist, and that Canada’s importance and independence are in grave doubt. I also learnt that Germans do not quit lightly… we finally started rounding up people to leave around 4am, and as we wandered down the quiet streets people decided that instead of going to bed, like any sane people would have done, instead we should have breakfast! There is this place that opens at 4:30, serving fresh croissants (that the Germans have a different name for and insist are totally different) and whatnot.

So there we were, eating breakfast until 6:30, before finally wandering home to bed. Notice how I deliberately ensure Thorsten was excluded from the picture? I must say that was some fast thinking on my part.

The Germans do not only have good places for spargle and breakfast. They also—surprize—have good places for beer. On Monday after our political psych study group, we decided to head to this local pub opened by an “almost lawyer.” Apparently the guy was almost finished studying for his law degree, when he hit his head in a car accident and forgot all the legal information he once knew… so he opend a pub instead, and all his legal buddies came by and inscribed their secret society crests on the walls.

This place is truly German because it serves beer “Eine mass”—see that 1 liter mug near me? That is right, my friends. Eine mass. And it is good stuff, too. Every German I meet drrides watered down piss the Americans call beer (they seem unsure as to whether Canada has any beer) and man they are right. The stuff they serve around here is heaps better than Budwiser or any of that generic crap. I think they even have most Canadian microbreweries beat—and I am technically in the wine-producing region of Franconia, where wine is the specialty, not beer!

Speaking of beer, there are some fascinating varieties. Recently, I took a trip to Bamberg—another charming, well-preserved medieval town—where the local specialty is a “smoked” beer that tastes like bacon. Swear to god. You may think that bacon and beer don’t mix, but oh—they most assuredly do. Here are some pics of Rob and I demonstrating the way the beer makes us feel…

Since we are on the subject, lemme take a quick moment to tell you about Bamberg. It is situated in the middle of a river…

…and the town hall even more so—it is literally built right on the river, with four bridges leading to entrances on different sides!  There is a big Cathedral called the Dom attached to a large complex of ancient buildings housing the residenz of the ruling family, the stables, places for the monks, etc…

…and a nice garden in the Residenz…

..and a bustling open-air markt in the middle of town.

And did I mention beer that tastes like bacon??!! Amazing.

Weekend in Rothenburg

Including 2 local Legends…

Last weekend I decided to hop a train to the town of Rothenburg ob der Tauber, which is named for its local delicacy, “Rotten burgers on the Table.” Rothenburg is just down the “Romantic Road” from Wurzburg. It was not so romantic for me, as I was alone, but plenty of other couples were snogging all over the place. Despicable, really.

Rothenburg is amazing because it is almost perfectly preserved since medieval times. See?

It has some fascinating history. Some guy built a castle around 1100, and a town grew up around it. Then the guy’s lineage ended, and the people told the Emperor the castle “fell down in an earthquake” (but really they tore it down and stole the building materials). Rothenburg became crazy rich from wool exports, pilgrims, and its location on trade route cross-roads. Around 1400, it was one of the largest and wealthiest cities in Germany, so it built all sorts of fortifications.

Rothenburg successfully fended off of attacks from the nasty Dukes of Nuremburg and evil Bishop-Princes of Wurzburg for over 500 years… but then, during the 30-years war, along came this guy Tilly and his 40,000 man army. Tilly was just passing by, but it rained for a week. With the roads turned to mud and supplies running low, Tilly “informed” Rothenburg that he would be wintering there… eating all their food and staying in their daughters’ rooms. Although only 6000 people, the Rothenburgers had super awesome fortifications and supplies for a year long siege, so they told Tilly to go to hell.

Unfortunately, three days in, the officer in charge of munitions made a personal inspection of Rothenburg’s gunpowder reserves… carrying a lit torch. His motives were unclear, as there was not enough of him left to question. So, now there was a huge breach in the defenses AND no spare gunpowder… the city was forced to surrender.

According to local legend, when Tilly entered the town, the townspeople provided the biggest glass of wine they could find: 3 and ¼ liters. Tilly became rather drunk, and made a crazy bet. He said that if anyone could drink the full glass in one go, he would spare the town from destruction. Nobly, the town mayor sacrificed his liver, and downed the glass… so the town stands yet today. This is called the “MasterDraught” and it is celebrated everywhere, including clocks in the town square. Apparently he drank from a cup like this:

Anyway, the town got conquered twice more during the 30 years’ war, and became flat broke. It couldn’t afford to modernize, so it remained mired in medieval times. Moreover, it escaped the world wars largely unscathed. In 1945, the nearby American commander was planning to shell the city to bits, when he received a call from his mother, who had visited the city in her youth. So instead, he sent a notice of his intentions to the local German commander, recommending they vacate the city. Fortunately, the man was out of town, so the message reached his second in command, who risked his life by committing treason and withdrawing his troops from the city.

As I mentioned, Rothenburg was a center of pilgrimage, because they have a holy relic—a drop of Jesus’ blood—encased in this magnificent shrine. (It’s in the white crystal in the middle of the cross).

In their fantastic church, they have another local legend—the Miracle of the Chicken. As you can see from the following panels, there was a pilgrim who pissed off an innkeeper, so he hid a golden cup on the pilgrim and sent the guards after him. They pilgrim was convicted and hung from the gallows—but he stubbornly refused to die. So they took him back to the judge, who said the pilgrim was “as innocent as the chicken roasting in my oven…” and at that moment, the chicken regrew its feathers and flew away. So they say.

How do I know this, you ask? Well, simple: I took a guided tour of the cathedral, toured another church, took the day tour of the city, visited the city museum (housing Marie Antoinette’s hunting weapons—very frikkin fancy), visited the museum of german hospitality—I mean, torture…

…and, finally, I took a tour with the local night watchman. He was awesome.

Weekend in Rothenburg, Including 2 local Legends

Encounters with random strangers

Hi everyone

I keep getting requests for “good stories,” which usually involve the random people I meet. Well, although I don’t have any truly good stories, there were two random people that stood out for me recently.

The first was a lady who overheard a conversation between me and a friend, who was telling me about changes to the German EI system that hurt the poor. At this moment, she turned around and interjected about how German people are totally spoiled and totally jealous. She started talking about how she lived in America for 10 years and she “drove a big car” and it was fine, but in Germany everyone is jealous of her big car and they need to stop whining and suck it up. Then she went on to describe how she was pregnant in America and she didn’t have health care so she didn’t go to the doctor for 9 months—implying this is a good thing—although she admitted that she was “also a bit stupid.”

After this tirade she apologized for interrupting our conversation, explaining that she just loves to speak English. She informed us that “she would never speak to us again” and hurried away… only to return 5 minutes later to relate a tale of discrimination that she and her roommate faced in America… finally Georg pulled me away to get food “before she comes back”…

The second random person was on the train coming home from Bamburg… There were groups of people occupying most seats, but this one guy was taking up four seats to himself. I asked if the seat was free, and he begrudgingly let me sit… but he turned out to be an extremely loudmouthed ass who started shouting at his friends several seats away, before loudly phoning a mutual friend and insulting him on behalf of his present friends, and then laughing so loud the entire train could hear him… this continued for about half an hour before some lady basically told him to stuff it.

So he eventually simmered down, but not before muttering “my mother is on the train” loud enough for everyone to hear… then he sat there like a restless and bored child, sighing loudly and searching for entertainment in vain. He was probably about 23. Oh, and did I mention that he insulted the police when they came by, much to the amusement of his friends?

Hope that suffices until I have a truly strange encounter. –P

Paul 1; Nazis 0

Hi there! Its me again. I don’t know who else you were expecting, but they aren’t here right now.

So, I promised an explanation of my crypit comment regarding extreme political parties…

Over the past week, I started noticing signs like these all over town:

Upon enquiring as to their meaning, I learnt that the Nazi party is, sadly, somewhat resurgent of late, and has been organizing demonstrations in various cities on May 1. Whether they should be allowed to is a controversial issue, but the courts recently ruled that they should be allowed. Nonetheless, other groups–such as Die Linke, a far-left political party–have been organising counterdemonstrations whenever the Nazis are scheduled to march. The sign was advertizing just such a counter-demonstration, so I decided to join up…

On the day of, there was a big march down the main street by all these different social groups from gay rights to christian youth organisations to all the political parties who are not Nazis… it was touching to see so many different people united for one cause and getting along so well. Here is a small chunk to the parade that was many blocks long…

Most people has big signs. Here is one of the students at the department with one that translates as “GO HOME BROWN SHITS!”

People congregated in the main square where there were speeches and balloons and–get this–beer! Now this is my kind of political rally!

Next on the agenda, some of us went to the train station to await the arrival of the Nazis. There were a lot of police waiting with us…

We knew the Nazis had a license to march between 1 and 5pm, but we were not sure when they would show, or even IF they would. They had registered a march in several towns at the same time, and they did not reveal their final destination until the same day. This tactic was designed to confuse and minimize the counter-protests organised by the other groups. Apparently the last bigmarch happened in Dresden. A friend of mine was there (in the counter rally, of course)… the police closed the bridges with the goal of putting Nazis on one side of the city and lefties on the other… but some lefties went all the way outside town and back in to mess up the Nazi march.Since then, the Nazis have been secretive and duplicitous with their marching intentions…

At one point we heard that hundreds of Nazis had boarded trains and were on their way… at that moment I looked around and realized that there was about 100 of us, maybe 30 police, and likely 800 Nazis… unfavourable odds. We started planning barricades and escape routes…

Alas, the Nazis deeked us out and got off at Schweinfurt, a nearby town. There 800 of them rallied, but the lefties had foreseen this possibility, and gathered 10,000 people for the counter-rally.Me and the people I was with decided that our formidable presence must have alarmed the Nazi spies scoping out the scene at the train station (I think I saw one!), resulting in the last-minute deek to Schweinfurt. Clearly, then, we were successful in our endeavour to protect Wurzburg from Nazis.

Thats right…. Paul 1, Nazis 0.

Settling in…

Hi eveyone! Thanks for reading this… all 3 of you! ha.

Well, I have been in Wurzburg a week now and I am settling in nicely. I now own a decent pillow, cell phone, and brita jug to filter the (hard) tap water…

I have met most of the departmental members, and they all seem really cool, except for this one guy Georg, who is a total asshole. 😉

I have learnt many important German phrases from the people here, including “Ich gebe die runde aus” which roughly translates as “beer for everyone!” They made sure I knew that right away.

I must say, the food here is cheaper and better quality than in Canada… whereever you go, you can get a nice sandwich with real cheese and fresh vegetables and some quality meat for about 2 euro… thats like $2.70 CDN… if only Tim Hortens had such things! I have also been sampling more traditional fare, such as bratwurst mit zenf und zauerkraut und brot: yum!

Robert took the time to show me some important things, such as the altemainbruke (big fancy old bridge towards the castle):

…The Rathaus (city hall)…

…the Hofgarden, the fancy italian garden at the Residenz that stands in start contrast to the “wild” English garden next to it…

…And the Julisspital… a 500 year old hospital that decided it needed money, so it did the obvious thing: It started its own winery! Everyone knows that wine and recovering from major illness go together…

In fact, Wurzburg is famous for its wine, which come in special bottles called “bocksbeutel” like these… apparently they are trademarked or something.

Some more things have happened, but I will cover them in the next post. Hint: they involve extreme political parties! Also regular parties… the kind with beer.

Til then, Ciao